It Hurts When We Lose Our Friends

“Sometimes you have to give up on people. Not because you don’t care, because they don’t.”


Last year, I asked my many new friends on my Facebook page about the kind of content that they’d love to read. The answers varied from topics about family, love, finances, and many other topics that make our lives a little more interesting than we let on. Now, I want to start having conversations about more than just my daughter and her toddler struggles and terrorist antics. 

Last week, I had an idea to start a conversation about friendships. It’s so easy for us to talk about the things that we love about our friends and the amazing memories that we share. This is a good thing because focusing on the positive things is always a great way for us to navigate our lives. 

Yet, there’s another side of friendships that we hardly ever talk about. The side where it hurts just a little more than you thought it could. When you realise that your friendship has finally reached its karmic cycle, and when you have to let go no matter how much you don’t want to. 

This is when you have to go through all the stages of loss until you eventually let go of something that in most cases hurts you more than you wanted to admit. Friendship breakups are a bit harder because you walk around with pieces of this person that you shared 10, 20, or 30 years of the best and worst parts of your life with. And, the worst thing is that, unlike a lover, a friend can’t be replaced to fill up that void in your heart. 

It doesn’t matter if you or if they were at fault; it hurts just the same, if not more than losing a lover. 

Naturally, I did a bit of background research for this topic before writing about it. I’m not crazy about social media unless we count WhatsApp (I live my best influencer life there, my contacts surely get tired of me). But, to ensure that I had more insight into friendship breakups, I asked people to share their stories. 

I received some honest and heartfelt responses from family, friends, as well as strangers. The one thing that echoed throughout our engagement is that these are the worst kind of endings that anyone can ever experience. The longer and deeper the friendship connection, the worse it is for some of us to come to terms with the reality of it all. 

On the other hand, it’s very easy for us to let go of our friends, well when you compare it to the way that we fight to keep romantic interests in our lives. And then, there are those of us who struggle with letting go even when the time has come for a friendship to end. You see, a personal experience is what sparked this conversation for me.

I always prefer to write about experiences that I know something about. This is why I think that as we grow older, the people in our lives tend to change and grow as they should. So, it happens that we no longer fit their reality anymore, and that’s okay. 

However, I still think that a bit of honest communication is something that can make our lives a little easier. Because friendships should be more open and honest when compared to most relationships that we have. The start of any relationship is a beautiful part of life, you grow and learn a great deal about yourself and your ability to love. 

Unfortunately, all good things do come to an end. And this also includes letting go of the friends that we once held dear in our hearts. As hard as it may be, it’s okay to accept that there comes a time when you no longer serve any purpose in someone else’s life.

The worst thing that you can ever do is to stay where you’re no longer valued. It takes a lot of acknowledgement and honesty for you to understand that it’s okay to move on with your life. In the same breath, it takes a lot for you to also acknowledge when you’ve been the one who’s at fault. Everything does happen for a reason, and as cliché, as this is, people do come into our lives for a season. So, as hard as it might be you should appreciate the life lessons, mourn your loss, and bid farewell to your once dear friend. 

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