When You Surrender You Maintain Balance In Your Life

Last week was very strange. If you believe in astrology, it’s safe to say that the ending of Mercury Retrograde had something to do with those energies. Yet, in the midst of this weird energy, I found peace for the first time in a long time. If you remember from my last post, I had a therapy session that I went to. It was not what I expected it to be. In fact, it was much better than what I had anticipated. For one, I had to attend the session with my daughter because we don’t have a nanny, so I didn’t have anyone to leave her with. This made me feel so anxious, especially about how she’d behave during the session. If you’ve been to therapy, you’ll understand how crucial it is for you to focus on yourself throughout this sacred hour that you have. 

When you attend a session with your child, you’re distracted. Anything can happen. For instance, 10 minutes into mine, her nappy needed to be changed. She stenched up the place and we couldn’t ignore it. Fortunately, my new therapist was understanding. I’m happy that my daughter wasn’t in the same temperamental mood that she’s been in since she opened her eyes today. She’s been extra needy and has been complaining whenever I try to write anything. So, I know that it’s going to be a long day. And in such cases, there isn’t much that you can do, except to surrender to how things are. I have since realized that this is the most significant step towards finding peace in your role as a mother and an individual detached from any roles. 

The Art of Learning to Surrender to Yourself 

Naturally, this got me thinking about other things. Have you noticed how things turn out differently when you decide to surrender to how things are instead of holding on to what they could be or used to be? When you surrender to yourself, you’re letting go of the chaotic nature of uncertainty. You are releasing that ball of nervous energy that engulfs your existence. Instead, you resonate with acceptance on a different level. It allows you to embrace the duality of your life. It gives you the power to strip down the layers of your personality and to finally see yourself whole. Moreover, it gives you the strength that you need to value your shortcomings as a part of the lessons that you need to understand to become who you want to be. Often, you focus your energy on who you need to be. It can be due to many reasons, but mainly because failure has crippled you into hiding away from who you want to be. 

I have been afraid to surrender to myself and I became the person that I needed to be to overcome the many rollercoasters in my life. I didn’t even realise that I was like this until last week when I sat down in that room for an hour. The one thing that stuck with me the most was when my therapist asked me to tell her the one thing that’s true about me. When I thought about it, I told her that my love is my truth. Yet, at that moment, it was clear to me that I hadn’t surrendered to my truth and the person that I want to be because life had forced me to be someone that I needed to be. I needed to be resilient. This means that you don’t have time to focus on the soft parts of who you are. I had robbed myself of love and loving so much because I let my fears control me. I didn’t trust myself enough to face everything and to come out okay. 

Many of us are guilty of this. Instead of surrendering ourselves to situations, we’d rather choose to let go for the sake of abandonment. But, surrendering isn’t this or that, nor is it a sign of defeat. When I surrendered to my daughter’s mood this morning, I wasn’t abdicating my responsibility to writing for the day. In fact, I chose to not force things. This would have left me in an anxious state and frustrated. My freedom comes from knowing how to actively choose self-affirmation amid a very unpredictable and moody toddler. In the same breath, I hope that my daughter can mirror this as she gets older. To know that peace is found when you finally accept things for what they are and not what you think they could or should be. 

If you are wondering about what stood out for me in my first therapy session, then you should know that I finally found a way to accept myself and my life for what it is. It’s been strange for me to relinquish what I think is control over everything. For once in what feels like forever, there’s been harmony with my energies. My body isn’t a cluster of anxious or nervous energy. I can even sleep at night because my mind and body trust me enough to not focus on things that are beyond my control. When you consciously decide to change your life for the better, may you always remember to surrender to yourself wholeheartedly. 

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