In an ideal world, it’s easy for you to communicate through anything with the people around you. The last blog post even gave you tips on how you should improve your communication. By now, you’re feeling better about how you try to engage with those around you. One of my friends gave me feedback after reading the previous blog post. She’s one of my youngest friends if I don’t count my 16-year-old niece. This friend of mine is still in her very early 20s. Naturally, she’s going through different milestones. She’s still learning more about herself; it’s a journey that signifies a woman’s coming of age story.
Practice Makes Perfect When You Communicate
However, as exciting as it is to finally find your voice as you start to get to know who you are and what you don’t want in life, there’s always a level of resistance from those around you. Do you remember how much your parents refused to acknowledge that you were growing up into someone else? Naturally, as parents, we are so clingy and overbearing. A very unhealthy way to usher someone into this life. We forget that our children don’t belong to us. We are just mere channels to get them across from one realm to the next. All we should do is hold their hands until we’ve equipped them with enough knowledge, wisdom, and wealth to help them become who they should be. In fact, this goes for everyone that you meet in your life. Nobody belongs to you. It’s always important for you to remember this and to accept it for what it is. Mindfulness of life and your role is a crucial part of finding peace in this journey.
But, this post isn’t about telling you how you should conduct yourself and share parts of yourself with the people in your life. That one is coming soon. Today, my focus is still on communication and why it’s so important. Going back to my very young friend. Her biggest concern as she goes through this new phase in her life is communicating with her mother. Generally, trying to have meaningful conversations about the most significant parts of ourselves with our parents is often a challenge. For instance, there’s a lot of things that I don’t talk to my parents about. I’ve never sat down with my mother to talk about the intricate details of my past relationships. Well, besides the fact that she’s a black mother, I just don’t think that she knows how to effectively communicate.
A lot of people struggle with communication. To a point where wanting to communicate with someone can come across as if it’s a bad thing. Wanting to talk through your feelings, the things that you don’t like, setting up boundaries, etc. can be difficult for someone who has never known how healthy communication is meant to look like. It can even end up frustrating you, which is a breeding ground for conflict. Yet, your relationships need communication to play a pivotal role in ensuring that they last. Most importantly, to avoid a lot of unnecessary conflict in the end. But, knowing how to talk about things doesn’t necessarily mean that you know how to effectively communicate with the next person. For example, talking down on someone isn’t a reflection of your strong communication skills. In fact, it does the opposite. And this is something that we are generally guilty of. We tend to weaponize our communication when we don’t get what we want. A primary example of this is the silent treatment. I despise this so much because my ex used it to pacify me and to invalidate my feelings. If you think that silent treatment is something that you excel in, please unlearn this unhealthy habit. It’s okay to ask for space and to speak when you feel like you’re ready to. What’s not right is silencing the next person entirely while making them feel as if they’re wrong for wanting to talk about how they feel.
Benefits of Healthy Communication
At the end of the day, healthy communication is an essential part of your life. It gets you noticed even in your career. It helps you make better friends. And it even improves the relationship that you have with yourself. When you know what you want and know how to say what you want, you’re a step ahead of the person who struggles in this department. Learn how to effectively communicate. It’s the one way that you can get people to respect you because you’ll know how to articulate your boundaries better.
To summarize this blog post, these are the most crucial benefits of healthy communication in your personal and professional relationships.
- It helps you to foster and maintain trust with the people in your life. Do you remember that one ex or friend who avoided talking about anything? Do you remember how you stopped trusting him or her?
- Having healthy conversations about any assumptions can help you to avoid a lot of potential problems at home or work.
- When you know how to communicate, you know how to provide clarity and direction. This allows you to provide clear expectations for anyone who comes into your life.
- Listening is an important part of communication. This is how you build strong relationships with the people in your life. Remember to always listen to the next person.
- When everyone understands their role in your life because you’ve established clarity when you communicate with them, it improves focus on other important aspects of your life. You don’t have to spend a lot of time resolving conflict from misunderstandings.
You shouldn’t be afraid to tell people how you truly feel. This doesn’t mean that you should be rude or condescending. There are ways that you can choose to tell someone how you feel without being disrespectful. I know how tempting it can be to stoop low when someone is being intentionally obtuse about things, especially your feelings. But, it’s not worth it. This is something that I’m also learning.
I’m trying my best to teach my daughter about communicating her feelings. I always encourage her to use her words, no matter how frustrating it can be for her. But, I also listen to her. Or at least try my utmost best to. She’s cloaked with most of my qualities. She’s outspoken, yet sensitive. I’m very careful about being who I needed when I was younger to help her navigate this world far better than I have. We should always do what we can to teach our kids the important lessons that nobody taught us. They should learn to trust us enough to tell us how they feel. This is something that you can achieve when you learn more about healthy communication. If you don’t know where to start, you’re not alone. You should read my previous blog post to learn more.