You’d be surprised to find out how many changes your life goes through when you’re a parent. Here I am this morning, already tired because my schedule has been changed to include taking care of a puppy. A very energetic puppy might I add. The owner of this said puppy is a young girl who watches from a distance half-excitedly and half-scared at her new companion. It’s only been a few days of us taking care of our new furry friend, but I can tell that it’s going to be an interesting journey. Perhaps, I should make a note to keep you updated about our new family member once in a while.
Since my last blog post, I’ve received countless messages from parents and nonparents who’ve shared their discontentment and fulfilment about this journey. It’s always interesting to receive different kinds of feedback. Particularly, from people who share their deepest fears or insecurities about this journey. Every once in a while you will feel out of sync with everything.
Parenting is a Journey
In most cases, being a parent is just winging it and hoping for the best. This whole experience like any other doesn’t come with a manual. Although it helps when you have a community that provides you with a safe space to share what you usually don’t get the opportunity to do so. This blog aims to do just that for you. And it goes beyond just being a parent who’s going through this rollercoaster ride. It’s a safe space for anyone who wants to feel seen and to relate to real-life experiences. At the end of the day, we’re all learning and it’s important to engage with people from different walks of life. It helps you to grow into the kind of person who evaluates life from a different perspective.
From the countless engagements I had last week, three stood out to me the most. A teenage parent, a woman who’s thinking of having kids, and a mother who planned every detail before having her child.
The latter made me realise that when it comes to parenting, particularly motherhood, we’re all riding the same wave of emotional turbulence. Motherhood is the pinnacle of parenthood. We are inherently the captain of this ship. This doesn’t mean that because you’re a woman you’re born with motherly instincts. It just means that society expects you to have these characteristic attributes to handle the bulk of it all. You can have the financial resources to hire help or to prepare for everything well in advance. However, when the role comes, it will still demand your presence.
Being present for your child(ren) is the ultimate sacrifice and devotion of the love that you will give them. It all boils down to forming and maintaining a bond that no amount of money can provide them. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t worry about financial security. Please do. Having a child requires a perfect balance of unconditional love and financial support. The more that you can give, the better they will be in life. At the end of the day, you should ensure that everything that you do is aimed at providing them with a life of ease.
5 Tips to Prepare for Parenting
In the last blog post, I highlighted 5 reasons why you shouldn’t consider parenting. But if you’re willing to leap into this ever so interesting journey, you should know how to prepare for it efficiently. Since I always want to help you to make informed decisions, I have summarized 5 helpful tips that you should consider before you plan to have kids.
- It’s obvious that you should ensure that you’ve planned your finances accordingly. If you haven’t, there’s no better time to start than now.
- You should manage your expectations. This journey isn’t as rosy as parents might have you believe. The first three months are just you trying to stay afloat with minimal hours of sleep.
- Establish your set of parenting values. It helps you to get a handle on things even when you feel like things are falling apart. And they generally fall apart at least 5 times a day.
- You should face your fears head-on. Feeling anxious about some aspects of parenting is normal. Yet, living in a constant state of stress is something that impacts your child.
- Build a solid support structure. Have people that you trust who can hold you together when you start to break. Every parent reaches their breaking point more often than you might think. But having loved ones who hold your hand makes it easier to deal with.
The main thing that you should remember is that you should trust in yourself to do the best that you can to ensure that you become the best parent that you can be. The adage that goes “nothing can prepare you for parenthood” is mostly true because our journeys are never the same. We’re not only raising different children, but our circumstances are entirely different. Yet, taking what you can from useful tips should help make it less stressful for you. The most important thing is for you to be realistic about everything. Lastly, don’t feel like you’re a failure if things don’t turn out the way that you expected. Sometimes, having a good cry about it is just what is needed to get through it all.