Mom, This Is Why You Need To Put Your Needs First

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.”

It’s only Wednesday, yet it feels like the longest week that I’ve had in a while. There have been some changes in our everyday routine that have thrown all three of us in the deep end. Not to mention that our 20-month old broke employer has decided to regress from her usual sleeping habits. Have you ever noticed that kids tend to always choose the worst possible times to go through behavioural changes? I think my daughter listens to me when I complain about my exhaustion. Or I’m just a mom who’s prone to crises. 

As I’m typing this, I have a throbbing pain in my upper, left jawline. Pregnancy came with some very hectic side effects. Another thing that nobody warns you about when you’re pregnant (I should do a segment on a list of things that nobody warns you about when you’re pregnant). You’d be so shocked to find out how much calcium your body can lose during your pregnancy. I was just as surprised when my tooth started giving me major problems. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get to the dentist sooner. 

When you’re a mom, there are many things that you don’t get time to do sooner than you’d hope. Something always comes up that requires you to sacrifice your needs in most cases. When your primary role involves ensuring that a human being is cared for, loved, and protected 24/7, it leaves little room for you to take care of yourself. The consequences of this can be an emergency tooth extraction at the age of 30. 

If you haven’t had any teeth pulled out with chisels and mallets that remind you of a scene from one of the SAW movies, I don’t need to remind you how fortunate you are. Likewise, if you still have time to yourself to take care of your mental and physical health. Forced bed rest can make you realize a couple of things. For instance, there’s no resting when your role is “mom”. Secondly, you need more than 24 hours to get everything done, and to have a little bit of time to yourself daily. The latter is almost impossible even if you have the extra hours in a day. 

There’s someone who’ll always need you next to them. It should make you wonder how single mothers do everything and still keep it together. There is no balancing of your needs when you’re taking care of everyone else. Do you even remember the last time that you managed to spend a day in solitude? It was at the beginning of 2019 for me, in case you’re wondering. Shocking, right? Yet, self-care for mothers isn’t something that’s prioritized. You even start feeling guilty when you take time off to be with yourself. It’s worse when you work from home. You don’t get the time alone when you commute to work to introspect on your needs. Everything happens at the same time; you go through mental breakdowns and pickups all in a matter of a day. 

What’s worse is that in most cases, nobody realizes that there’s so much happening in your head. Yet, you want to just take time off from it all; just a day or more preferably to get you feeling a bit more like the person who you were before you took on the biggest responsibilities in your life. You are a mother. You also deserve the best moments as you go through your journey. 

I hope that you remember to take care of yourself. If you don’t, you might find yourself dealing with terrible pain after an extraction. Or worse, you might find yourself unable to carry on when you’re needed the most. Mom, you also need to remember to put your needs above everyone else, even if it’s for a day in your hectic schedule. 

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