I Think…

I may have just about reached the zen stage of parenting. Possibly a tad bit prematurely if I may add but I have definitely found peace amidst the chaos that comes with a very short and adorable human dragging and pulling everything in their way. My niece (15) comes into our room and has a panic attack when she sees my baby playing with (more like dismantling) her box of wipes or nappies or sometimes everything she can manage to grab with those tiny hands.

I stopped worrying or getting worked up by what she will do next when one day I found myself telling her to stop ransacking everything more than 5 times in 10 minutes. It was one day too many. I couldn’t see myself having to do that more than I had in that space of time. I figured the only thing I needed to do moving forward was to keep a close eye on her, watch what she grabs and ensure that she is safe no matter what. Her safety is always my ultimate responsibility and priority. I figured that the rest, a big mess is what will naturally come with having a child.

She is experiencing the world for the first time, she is curious and is discovering the world through touching whatever she comes across. I have made peace with trailing behind her as she makes her messes, as she makes sense of what her world is to her and lights up in excitement when she finds a new corner to rummage through in the house. I look at her and I am reminded of something that I read about how children are free spirits who love bravely with creativity dwelling within them. I cannot advocate to raise a happy and carefree black girl if I restrict her spirit when she is this young. She must know that her parents will always be there to pick her up, to help her clean her mess and that she can trust us to hold her hand whenever she wants to pursue anything.

However, there will come a time when her safety becomes her responsibility and priority, I pray that I would have done my best to equip her for the world in whatever shape or form when that time comes.

For now though, I look forward to the many adventures with my little trooper. To getting my hands dirty and running after her as she giggles away. Just hearing the sound of her laughter is what gives me peace and fulfills hidden corners in my heart..

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